It’s been a long while since I have been back here. But it’s about time, I think.

For a long while the world sort of stopped, nothing was the same, nothing will ever be the same as before, but the world turns and the adage of “life does go on” eventually settles in your mind and you fake it. You hide your real feelings, the loss, from others. You feel sort of dead inside and you go through what if, could have done, should have done arguments with yourself. Doesn’t change things though.

Getting better does not mean forgetting the loss, a Hugh part of you is missing, rather it means learning to carry the loss in a way that doesn’t hinder happiness and fulfillment in the time you have left. And yes, you do backslide, at least I did (do) those should have, could have thoughts kick your butt.

As we get older, we lose our parents, siblings, friends, workmates, your partner, your spouse. We survive but we are changed, in some big ways, but mostly subtle, and sometimes we learn.

I now try and remember to minimize the “should have” and “could have” opportunities  presented to me day by day. Maybe that’s my lesson to be earned!

Onward we go…..